Just Living

I’ve been working in my new journal and thinking about what I will put on my vision board, but this process is more difficult than I expected.  (Geez, how many times have I said that?)  In my teens, 20s, and 30s I had goals, plans, and visions.  In my teens I worked toward getting into college in order to prepare for a career.  In my 20s I worked on finding my way in that career.  In my 30s I worked toward specific levels I wanted to achieve in that career.  Having achieved those goals, in my 40s and early 50s I volunteered in an area I’m passionate about.  Now, I’m ready to move on to the next phase, but I’m also heartily enjoying right where I am.

I read a book recently where one of the characters, a famous author and illustrator, is asked when she will produce her next book.  She replies that for now she just wants to live.  I understand completely!  I’m enjoying my life.  I have always enjoyed my life, but I’m beginning to feel very settled right now and I like that.  However, I don’t want to become stagnant and “old” so I also desire change, adventure, challenge.

As I work through this process I’m reticent to mix-up my happy life, but I’m also excited about what prospects might be out there.  Can there be a balance between just living and taking on the world?

I’m Back…

My two-month hiatus is done; now it’s time to get back on track with my Somedays.  I have five months left of my 366 Somedays – 153 days and I’m struggling to decide which Somedays are worth my time, which call to my heart.  Over the last two months, as I’ve eased back on my Somedays, I’ve thought about what I’ve done so far and what I still want to do.  I have a list I made when I began this project, but already I’m questioning how many of these Somedays really warrant my time.  I’m torn between activities I’ve always thought I wanted to do and the reality of a limited number of hours in the day.  I’m finding this process both beneficial and discouraging:  beneficial because I’m really working to identify my heart’s desires (Oh, my, I sound like Dorothy.  Perhaps a pair of ruby slippers would help the process.) and discouraging because I’m having to admit some activities I thought were salient, don’t actually make the cut.

I haven’t yet decided what my August Someday will be.  Check back tomorrow and, hopefully, I’ll have a worthy plan ready to hatch.

“Someday” Report Card

Today is the last day of my first trimester of “somedays”.  I’ve finished four months and it’s time to grade my progress.

Month 1 – Write and publish a non-fiction book in 30 days.  Grade:  Incomplete

Even though I didn’t finish this project in the time allotted, I’m not going to give myself a failing grade.  I am still working on the project and it will get done, so “incomplete” seems a more fitting grade than “fail”.

Month 2 – Begin a meditation practice.  Grade:  B

I’m meditating almost daily, but most of my meditation practice is now walking meditation.  I like walking meditation, but I also think sitting meditation has its benefits.  In order to receive an “A” grade I need to work more sitting meditation into my practice.

Month 3 – Begin 1200-mile Club challenge.  Grade:  A+

The goal is to walk or run 1200 miles this calendar year.  I worked that out to 4 miles per day, 6 days per week.  As of yesterday I have walked and run 227 miles putting me 27 miles ahead of my goal pace.

Month 4 – Learn Italian.  Grade: F

I’m beginning to think there are some “somedays” which should remain a goal for some other day.  Or, perhaps, they should be set aside with the realization that it just ain’t gonna happen.  Italian may be that type of “someday” for me.  I struggled all month and I cannot even count to ten or carry on the simple get-to-know-you conversation I had set as my goal.  I’m not going to get rid of the Italian language books and tools I purchased, but I’m not going to say this will be an on-going project, like writing a book.  I may pick the books up again at some future date, but I will no longer say, “I’m going to learn Italian someday.”

My Loosey Goosey Goal

There’s a theory about setting and reaching goals that says to not only set your goal, but make it quantifiable and also chart out the path you’ll need to take to reach the goal.  As I lay in bed this morning thinking about the day ahead, I realized I have not charted a path for this month’s “someday” of learning Italian and I’m struggling to make any progress.

In November my “someday” was to write and publish a short non-fiction book.  I didn’t reach my goal, but it’s still in progress and, now that I think of it, I realize I didn’t have a charted plan for how to reach it – not even so much as “write for an hour a day”.  December my “someday” was to establish a meditation practice.  That in itself is a plan.  To establish the practice, you have to meditate – and I did (and still do).  On January 1^st I began a 1200-mile walking/running challenge.  I calculated I would need to run/walk four miles per day, six days per week in order to reach 1200 miles by the end of the year.  I set up a spreadsheet to input my miles and to calculate how far ahead or behind I am (right now I’m 20 miles ahead of plan).  That’s a completely quantifiable plan.  Then I came to February and my “someday” is to “learn Italian”.  Really?  Learn Italian?  Obviously I’m not going to become fluent in a month, so what is my real goal for the month?  I didn’t set one!  I didn’t set a quantifiable goal and I didn’t set out a plan for how I would achieve my loosey goosey goal.

I had hoped I could “learn Italian” by listening to audiobooks during my many hours in the car.  That didn’t work, so I bought a book and some grammar aids, but I still didn’t set a plan of when and how I would use them (they’ve been sitting on the counter, untouched, for a week).  Now, here I am, right about halfway through the month and I realize I messed this up.  I need an actual goal and a plan.

So, here we go.  My goal for learning Italian will be to be able to count to ten and carry on a simple “get to know you” conversation.  My plan to get there will be to set a time period for studying Italian.  I’m a morning person, so I do my other practices first thing in the morning:  writing, meditating, walking/running.  Once I’m up and taking care of business during the day, it’s hard to stop.  However, just before I go to bed, I spend time browsing social media and playing Sudoku.  I can give up that routine and allocate the time to studying Italian and, research shows, sleep helps cement what you’ve learned right before bedtime.  I’m going to get my Italian book off the counter and put it on my nightstand right now.  I will now study Italian for at least a half-hour every weeknight.  And, who knows, not using an iPad before bed might help me sleep better.  Retain Italian and sleep better – this could be a double win.

The Shitty First Draft

My initial goal for the month of November, my first “someday”, and the WNFIN challenge, was to write and e-publish a non-fiction book in 30 days.  Now, one week before the end of 30 days, I’ve revised my goal.  Instead of getting the book all the way through publication, I am now aiming at completing the “Shitty First Draft”.  This is quite a shortfall from where I had hoped to be, but I’m okay with the adjustment.  Writing the book has been much more challenging than I expected.  The length alone makes it a totally different type of writing style than what I have been accustomed to.  Then there’s the storytelling aspect – again, quite different.  I have gone from believing I’d write straight through from the Introduction to the final chapter, to writing a hodgepodge of ideas and stories that are only partly related to my initial outline.  Hence, the Shitty First Draft.

In Bird by Bird Anne Lamont urges writers to embrace the shitty first draft claiming it can lead to clarity and even brilliance in the second and third drafts.  Ernest Hemingway claimed, “The first draft of anything is shit.”  Instead of letting my perfectionism and ego rule how I feel about the shortfall of my goal this first month, I’m going to look at this experience and know I’m in good company.  However, I’m not going to say I’ll finish the book Someday – that would be counterintuitive to the point of my 366 Somedays challenge.  Instead, I will commit that it will be done by Day 366 – hopefully significantly sooner.  On to the second draft…

“Writing is an adventure.”

–Winston Churchill

Hello Inspiration!

You’re off to great places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So, get on your way.
                                    --Dr. Seuss

Starting today I’m choosing to climb a mountain (or twelve)
rather than skate along on flat land.

A couple weeks ago, as I was driving from Toad Hall (our primary residence) to the Boathouse (our “other” home), I was hit by a streak of inspiration.  Recently I had gotten back to healthier eating habits and had dropped 15 pounds.  I felt like I finally had this “food” thing figured out.  As I drove with the music turned up loud, I drummed along on the steering wheel, wondering what to do with the extra time and energy I had previously given to food and eating.  As I drummed, the thought ran through my mind that I really do want to learn to play the drums.  That’s when inspiration hit me!

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about lifestyle, dreams, goals, etc.  I started with Dr. Christiane Northrup’s new book, Goddesses Never Age.  That lead me to other “joy” and “goddess” books and articles and, somewhere along the line, I stumbled on Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic, which deals with the creative process.  In this book, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about “magic” or creativity occasionally knocking on our doors and suggests a person has to be ready to answer that knock.

As I drove along thinking about learning to play the drums and feeling full of joy (music, beautiful scenery, road trip…), I realized creativity was indeed knocking on my door and I let out a gasp as I realized I was ready to answer.  Thus, the hit of inspiration:  I would make a yearlong plan to learn and do twelve things I have always wanted to do – and I would write about the process.

This is not a “bucket list”.  I think of bucket lists as being those big events and activities one wants to do before they die.  Instead, the things on my list are more immediate.  They are the things I’ve always thought I might enjoy, might want to pursue someday – if only I had the time.

As I started to plan what ideas I might want to include, my energy and enthusiasm skyrocketed.  I felt I was running headlong toward something wonderful, life-changing, and terribly scary (in a good way).  As I neared the Boathouse, Vonda Shepard’s song Searchin’ My Soul began to play:

There’s a side of my life where I’ve been blind and so… 
I’ve been searchin’ my soul tonight 
I know there’s so much more to life 
Now I know I can shine a light 
Everything gonna be alright 
I’ve been searchin’ my soul tonight

Tomorrow:  Month 1 – Write a Book